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Finding Myself Again

I'm a 32 year old mom of two boys and been married for 9 years. I deliver the mail in a small town. Literally just your average everyday woman to be honest!


One day I was added to this boudoir VIP page, to where I followed them on Instgram. I saw they were doing a HUGE giveaway, for a whole session! I thought why not, it was the last day and I added and tagged a few people. I didn't give it much thought but thought about how cool that would be. I've been looking, searching and mustering up the courage to reach out and try a shoot. Sure enough, I WON! I couldn't believe it! I was SO nervous to even talk about it and everything that went along with it! Once I talked to Erika, my WHOLE mindset changed. She has this way about her in which you feel SO comfortable! Even on the phone I could tell how special this was about to be! And the whole process did not disappoint!



I've struggled with my weight for as long as I've remembered. When I was little I was too skinny and then once I hit middle school I was picked on for my body changing. It took a toll on me even though I didn't let on but anyone who is coming into a new body and time of life can understand that struggle. I was always the bigger girl in my friends group and I was starting to just live with that. I used to love my body so much! I was confident, sure of myself even with the curves I had. Then I got married and started a family. My body changed more than I could even imagine. I wasn't used to more stretch marks, more cellulite, and my growing belly. It was so hard to look in the mirror and see the girl I once loved looking back at me. Not in this new body. No way. How could I ever learn to love this body 5 sizes bigger than Im used to? Obviously my husband won't like this anymore. I beat myself up DAILY, all day, everyday.

WHY?! Why can't we love what stage we are in RIGHT NOW. I'm a busy married working mom who has gained weight from the different stages of life happening all at once. Why am I now supposed to not love myself like I did when I was skinnier? We always say to ourselves, "oh I will when I lose weight", " Yeah, I'll do/wear that when I'm skinnier", " It won't work unless I'm skinnier".

WHY DO WE DO THIS?

Our inner demons are fueled by the social media world telling us that we aren't good enough or worthy enough unless we fit their molds.

SCREW THAT!

The one thing I've learned from having a boudoir experience is loving myself again. It's not about the photos, because frankly my husband thinks they are a waste of time; but I didn't do it for him. I DID IT FOR ME. ME.


When I tell you the second I looked onto the back camera, of Erika's camera, I couldn't help but be emotional. I saw ME. The one who I lost over the last 9 years. I saw the girl I knew but this time she was POWERFUL, STRONG, WISE, RESILIENT, CONFIDENT, and BEAUTIFUL. I saw her again. Erika knew it and started to help bring her out more and more! By the end of the day I was on cloud 9 and I didn't want to ever come down! I didn't just take pictures that day.. I felt like a queen and found the inner confidence I had lost so many years ago! Boudoir isn't one size fits all. If you want to take intimate photos for your significant other, PERFECT! Wedding for your future husband? PERFECT! A mom who needs to find herself again? PERFECT! Someone who had a traumatic event and needs some way to cope and get through it? YES! This is an amazing and supportive place in that journey to reclaim yourself. A spicy erotica session? YES, she does those too! very modest yet real inner self session? PERFECT!


Boudoir is ANYTHING you want it to be and EVERYTHING you need it to be! Erika will help you find what you want and what you need and make you an experience that is priceless! I never thought a contest session would turn into something that has changed my life! I'm finally back to myself and have learned to love the woman I see when I look in the mirror. I thank you, Erika, for giving me the life changing experience and I'm so ready for the next one!

-Samantha





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